panic rears it's ugly head and tries to kill the dream

The night before last, while working on the greenhouse budget, I was looking at various flats and seedling trays, and trying to decide which ones to buy. When comparing the different configurations, I thought that if I get these instead of those and arrange them this way instead of that way I could fit 9,000 plants instead of my original estimate of 8,000 in the greenhouse. And that's when I had my moment of panic. Well, several moments really. Okay, it lasted the rest of the night. Because how on God's green earth am I going to sell 8,000 plants let alone 9,000? WHAT DO I THINK I'M DOING? I am a graphic designer and artist, not a farmer! Oh, I ranted - if I could just sell retail off the farm the worry wouldn't be so strong because I could advertise and draw customers here. And I know how to advertise!

Then yesterday, after a bad night's sleep, I decided to forget about it. I mean, if you don't look at the big green drooling monster peeking in your window, then he's not there right? So instead of spending the day worrying and agitating, I tilled the beds in the cut flower garden. Amazing what a little physical labor and positive action will do for your mental health. I can't immediately solve the marketing issue, but I can do this. For me at least, working the earth is calming, relaxing, and centering. No the concerns didn't go away, but some perspective was regained. I mean, if there can't be any on-farm retail, then marketing will just have to get that much more creative.

I can do this.